There's No Time Like The Present

'There's no time like the present!' announced a man confidently.

'Well, that's one opinion on the matter!' replied a second man. 'In my eyes, the past has several advantages over the present. I believe that everything in the past was slightly better than now, and even things that seemed terrible in the past don't appear so bad with hindsight.'

'Although I respect both of your views on this subject, gentlemen,' piped up a third man, 'I myself am a firm advocate of the future. I look forward with a great deal of anticipation to the advent of flying motor vehicles, day trips to outer space and an endless procession of new gadgets, each one ever so slightly better than its predecessor.'

With that, the first man lured the other two men to a nearby walk-in freezer through the false promise of a delicious gateau. When he had the men where he wanted them, the first man dashed quickly out of the freezer and locked the door securely behind him, leaving his former companions to get on with the business of dying.

He then strolled off calmly, hands in his pockets, whistling a tune that was very popular at the time.

'No, there's no time like the present!' he said to himself happily, before proceeding to enjoy each and every moment of the rest of his life.